Man and Woman: Different and Equal?

Are women really different from men apart, of course, from the obvious physical differences? Are their brains wired differently? Do they think differently? Are they from Venus while the men are from Mars? Will the two sexes ever find a common footing? Will the battle of the sexes ever end?

There has always been a great deal of debate on these questions between the two schools of feminists. Some believe men and women are fundamentally the same and the differences we see are the results of their different socialising. Simone de Beauvoir for one, argued that the reason why a woman differed from man was her upbringing. A little girl is brought up to be a woman in the future – a wife, a mother, “the carer”. A little boy is brought up to be a man – a husband, a father, “the provider”. Isn’t it quite common to give the little girl a doll as if to prepare her for the future motherhood? The boy, on the other hand, will quite likely be given a car to play with, as if to imbibe on him the importance of wealth and success. Thus, ‘the maternal instinct’ becomes an essentially feminine attribute and ‘wealth’ and ‘success’, typically masculine attributes. If at birth we are fundamentally the same, a man should develop the ‘carer instinct’ if given dolls to play with in his childhood. There is no scientific data to prove this and we probably will never know if this were true…

Then coming to the other school of thought, the ones that believe that men and women are fundamentally different in all respects. It is nature, and not years of socialising, that has endowed men and women with heir different characteristics. They believe that the roles of men and women are essentially complementary and yet, equal. I may be wrong here, but might this stance drive us to stereotyping, something that feminists have tried to fight against over the years? If the roles of women were different but complementary then maybe it is up to women to look after the household and the children and up to the men to work and earn? Certainly, it is not so as women have proved by successfully making their mark in the public sphere. Some might even argue that the roles of men and women are not necessarily complementary since many of us find perfect happiness living alone or with a partner of the same sex.

Now let us assume that men and women are fundamentally different. The woman is endowed with characteristics (stereo)typically attributed to her (caring, loving, sensitive forgiving, etc.). Ditto for the man (in this case, he’s a fighter, the protector, the provider). The woman is thus naturally inclined toward the home and the hearth. She stays back home to care for the children and look after the household. The man goes out to work and to earn the livelihood. There is a clear division of labour here, the two roles being complementary to each other. But then why is it so that the man’s work acquires precedence and is superior to the eyes of the society and the woman is just a ‘homemaker’? The two roles are equally important, the society requiring child-bearers and rearers as much as rocket scientists and doctors.

Take another example. Traditionally, women have opted and still opt in large number for study of humanities and languages. Men have been more partial to the hard sciences like engineering. It is probably a result of gender-stereotyping so prevalent in our society (arts is for girls, sciences are for boys) or maybe it’s just that women have a certain knack for languages and social sciences because they are supposed to be better communicators. The important question here is then why are the male-dominated streams considered superior to the streams where women seem to excel? Once again, doesn’t the society require teachers and translators as much as engineers and architects?

Now let’s keep the much-controversial question “Are men and women fundamentally different?” aside. Let’s just accept that gender-differences will continue to exist at least in the near future. And let’s celebrate the differences. And above all, let’s respect women for the choices that they make – be it to be a career-woman or a homemaker. Meanwhile, let’s leave it to the sociologists, the scientists and the feminists to find out if men and women are really different… Till then, here’s raising a toast to the differences which make life more rich and interesting!